SIMON
I don't think it matters anymore what we say actually. I genuinely don't. I think you are in your own universe and if people like you, good luck.
SANJAYA
Well thank you.
I don't think it matters anymore what we say actually. I genuinely don't. I think you are in your own universe and if people like you, good luck.
SANJAYA
Well thank you.
What is it about Sanjaya Malakar that makes even the most hardbitten in the Idol coterie invoke the ethereal, the spiritual, the epistemological? Perhaps, beneath the curly locks, the breathtaking talentlessness, the outsized sense of entitlement, there IS "something in his spirit that is a winning ingredient," as Diana Ross suggested. (It's unclear whether Diana made this observation before or after Sanjaya gushed, "Being able to have Diana Ross mentor you is like having Van Gogh teach you how to paint." Well, yes and no, Sanjaya. Yes and no.) Perhaps it has something to do with the way, asked which talent he'd most like to have "if" he couldn't sing, Sanjaya replied, "Singing."
At any rate, for me, Sanjaya's ghastly performance of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" was one of the true highlights of the season to date. We owe a lot to it at AWiBH, including our name.
Some of the ensuing discussion is, I think, well worth reprinting in its entirety.
SIMON
When you hear a whale (Ed. -- yes, "wail," I know, I know) in Beverly Hills, that is where Diana Ross is watching this show--
PAULA
What?
SIMON
She's going to freak when she hears that. The only similarity is the hairstyle. I don't know what else to say, I mean it was...
[Loud boos from audience]
Look, OK, Sanjaya, I'll be positive!
Um.... [long pause]
How old are you?
SANJAYA
Huh?
SIMON
How old are you.
SANJAYA
Seventeen.
SIMON
Right. You're very brave. I'll give you that. You're brave.
RYAN
The courage of Sanjaya Malakar! I think we're dying to know what's going on in your head when you're listening to them give you feedback tonight.
SANJAYA
I...I...I don't even know, I...
PAULA
He doesn't listen to us.
SANJAYA
Well, no, I listen to the positive things, but sometimes... No offense Simon, your first comment, I had no idea what you were talking about...
SIMON
OK. What I was trying to say was, when she listens to this on TV--
RYAN
(too eager)
She'll squeal.
SIMON
...she'll scream.
RYAN
He wasn't talking about the marine biology aspect of...sea life... it was more of..an audible sound from.... OK. Well good luck. Do you feel like you should be here next week?
SANJAYA
Yeah.
RYAN
OK.
When you hear a whale (Ed. -- yes, "wail," I know, I know) in Beverly Hills, that is where Diana Ross is watching this show--
PAULA
What?
SIMON
She's going to freak when she hears that. The only similarity is the hairstyle. I don't know what else to say, I mean it was...
[Loud boos from audience]
Look, OK, Sanjaya, I'll be positive!
Um.... [long pause]
How old are you?
SANJAYA
Huh?
SIMON
How old are you.
SANJAYA
Seventeen.
SIMON
Right. You're very brave. I'll give you that. You're brave.
RYAN
The courage of Sanjaya Malakar! I think we're dying to know what's going on in your head when you're listening to them give you feedback tonight.
SANJAYA
I...I...I don't even know, I...
PAULA
He doesn't listen to us.
SANJAYA
Well, no, I listen to the positive things, but sometimes... No offense Simon, your first comment, I had no idea what you were talking about...
SIMON
OK. What I was trying to say was, when she listens to this on TV--
RYAN
(too eager)
She'll squeal.
SIMON
...she'll scream.
RYAN
He wasn't talking about the marine biology aspect of...sea life... it was more of..an audible sound from.... OK. Well good luck. Do you feel like you should be here next week?
SANJAYA
Yeah.
RYAN
OK.
During Sanjaya's audition, Simon told him, "You're like a shy little thing who's got a good voice." Homer nods.
AWiBH prognosis: Sanjaya has whetted America's dormant appetite for the absurd and surreal, but it's got to be close to sated by now.... Let's all trust America's legendarily keen sense of justice to kick in soon and send Sanjaya packing. --AMBER
No comments:
Post a Comment